Charm Diplomacy

With its global image in a freefall since the eventful night in Abbottabad on 2nd May, Pakistan has been pushed on the backfoot and dodging bouncers as any tailender batsman would on a juicy Wanderers track. It seemed as if a tsunami of backlash was washing away whatever smokescreen they had conjured up to potray themselevs as a State victimised by terrorism and rather than they being the hotbed of terror.

But their arguments were not cutting ice with most of the nations apart from China, who’s support they are clutching to as if their sole existence depends on “the Red Dragon”. With the US adopting a less of carrot and more of stick policy, something very drastic needed to be done. And it was done. A masterstroke to leave most of the “Foreign Minister” counterparts drooling unless you happen to be a female.

So, the Islamic Republic of Pakistan unleashed its “Charm Diplomacy” by unveiling Ms. Hina Rabbani Khar as the Minister of Foreign Affairs. A beauty with brains and a masters in hospitality management is sure to leave most of her counterparts tongue tied. ”Make love not war”…that’s her calling card as she goes around the world to conquer the antagonist opinion about Pakistan with her charm.

It would be hard for global leaders to listen to what she has to say when their eyes are busy with something else (as is evident in the pic below). And they won’t be complaining that’s for sure. With the Obama’s, Sarkozy’s & Berlusconi’s around they would definitely turn a blind eye towards the misadventures of Pakistan while eyeing “the best thing Pakistan has ever gifted to the world”.

So, what do we have to counter Pakistan’s biggest weapon till date…a 79 yr old Mr. SMK??? Sadly, we don’t stand a chance in this “Charm Diplomacy” war…

Parenthood

I would like to dedicate this post to Sunny who today became a dad.

Parenthood is a gift. The first time you hear that you are about to become one, you may either react with a loud “Yipeee” or mutter under your breadth “#%*$” (did the wife forget her pills or there was a tear in the  ”rubber”). Anyways, after the initial feeling of euphoria or shock has passed over it’s time to set into motion the different tasks associated with the impeding arrival of the “new family member“…even though it may be a good 60 weeks away.

The “breaking news” is soon relayed to the immediate family members on both sides with instructions not to relay to any other relatives. The wife now holds the attention with hospital visits, weekly check ups, high food value diet et al. Sometimes after 3 months the “breaking news” is finally made “breaking news“ to the rest of the family tree on both sides as well as the rest of the world. 

As the D Day approaches wife and husband and the entire family tree wrangles on what should be the new one be named? What should be his nickname and stuff? With every kick the to-be-mother experiences, there occurs passionate debates regarding if the baby is perfecting his free-kicks or her ballet steps. Personally we were very open about it being a girl or a boy. I personally was looking forward to have a girl as watching F1 races and EPL on Sundays together would have been a more challenging for me with a daughter than watching it with a son. I was also scared shit of the fact that what if the son wasn’t as sports crazy as I am???

As far as names was concerned we would visit different websites and shortlist names for baby boys and girls. It was great fun. Funnily enough we had made up our minds on what to name out “daughter” but were still clueless about what to call our “son”. I wanted to name my daughter ”Schumi” (after “you know who”)…had it not been for one of her “to be aunts” being called the same…so I junked that name and this even the wife does not know until she reads this post.

Then, finally the D – day comes in the chosen hospital (yeah that too matters) and the chosen way (C-Sec or natural birth…with the doctors and parents being invovled in it). The endless wait when you know it’s around the corner, everything becomes surreal, you walk about in a trance counting tiles on the floor or doing endless laps of the imaginary F1 circuit (read…hospital corridor) and then comes the moment when time stops…2.45 PM by my watch (On 01.02.2010…a numerical palindrome if there exists one) when a tiny little cry pierces your heart…

Gosh!!! “I’m a dad”….after a round of congratulations amongst all near and dear ones present the husband is soon informed about the condition of the mom and the baby. No amount of cajoling or threats work on the nurse and the gender of the child is still a mystery untill the “little one” is brought all wrapped in a towel and unvieled finally to settle the matter for once and all.

“It’s a son!!!”…damn he better know how to kick a ball.

Pictures are clicked to capture the 1st look to be shared with rest of the world. And then the phones become busy. Almost everyone whose name exists in the phone book is informed through call or SMS.

La Celeste – The emerging soccer superpower

Every 4 years when the Soccer World Cup takes place there always emerges a list of “favourites” and the “dark horses” or the “under dogs”. Latin America usually boasts of two powerhouses called Argentina and Brazil with the rest of the participants which may range from Paraguay, Bolivia, Uruguay who usually are considered to be the “also rans”.

The last world cup, we witnessed a revolution of some sorts with the Uruguyan football team “La Celeste” going beyond what Brazil and Argentina could achieve with all the glitz and glamour associated with them.

Some may say that it was after all a flash in the pan which takes place only once a century (in fact they are better than that with twice being Champions & thrice being placed 4th) and the football world cup is not even celebrating its centennial year until 2030.

So, it reallty doesn’t surprise me that they carried on with their 2010 World Cup winning form to win the latest edition of Copa America in Argentina where Brazil and Argentina could not even make it to the last 4. That says a lot…with all the focus on Brazilian Neymar & the mesmerizing Messi from Argentina…it was a team devoid of any superstars (Diego Forlan and Luis Suarez may be stars in their own rights) that eventually lifted the Copa America for a record 15 times.

For Forlan, this triumph is even more sweeter given the fact that he has carried forward the family legacy with his grand dad and father both having being past winners…

So, if Uruguay manages to qualify for the 2014 edition of the World Cup, it would be worthwhile to see if the soccer world still considers “La Celeste” to be a “dark horse” or a “favourite”???

If latter, it would mark a new chapter in the history of “La Celeste”.

Coach Coach Hota Hain

It is a bit of a chicken and egg situation. Good coach and good team. Which one is the cause and which one is the effect??? A serious point to mull over as we have seen from recent examples in the footballing world. The travails of Roy Hodgson, Carlo Ancelotti, Mark Hughes, Rafael Benitez  and Jose Mourinho adds a lot of spin to this conundrum.

Roy Hodgon currently with Liverpool are not having the best of times and every game seems to be the last one he will be in charge of. Rafa Benitez lead Liverpool to 2nd position in the EPL 2008 – 2009 season and a disappointing 7th last year after which he was sacked (mutual consent) and joined the Italian Serie A winners Inter Milan. Inter Milan has struggled under Rafa’s guidance and was sacked on Christmas Eve this year. Both Liverpool and Inter Milan have more or less retained the same set of players which they had last year for this year so we can’t say that Rafa & Roy had team building issues which made their performance suffer. Roy before moving in to fill the void of Rafa at Liverpool had a dream season with Fulham, leading them to Europa Cup glory with a runners – up finish. Since, he has left Fulham the team has nowhere performed like last season and are closer to the relegation fight rather than being closer to the Champions League or Europa berth. Their manager this time is Mark Hughes who was sacked from Manchester City where he could not convert the Petro Pounds into any meaningful trophy. Again the team was more or less the same yet the new manager could not coax, cajole or motivate the team to perform like last year.

Roy Hodgson at Fulham was great but equally worse at Liverpool. Rafa Benitez slowly faded away at Liverpool and was a disaster at Inter Milan. Mark Hughes didn’t deliver the goods both at Manchester City & Fulham.

Carlo Ancelotti came to Chelsea with a reputation to defend but so far he has done a bad defending job. Chelsea’s has been a story of so near yet so far under Carlo Ancelotti and his stay is entirely subject now to how Chelsea performs in the EPL and Champions League. Jose Mourinho is a cavalier when it comes to being a coach. Someone who wears his heart on his sleeves and is never short of words to express himself. After cornering a bit of glory with Chelsea leading them to a couple of EPL crowns and then bettering the performance at Inter Milan where he managed a European treble the hot-shot Jose is now in charge of the Galacticos.

It was a last throw of dice for Florentino Perez, Real Madrid’s President. The stakes are too high for him to lose now. A galactico team lead by a galactico coach. Now its up to the 11 players and his coach to deliver.

What money or Mastercard can buy and can’t?

Money can buy you a collection of stars (Chelsea) or Galacticos (Real Madrid) but it does not necessarily add to the collection of trophies. More recently, Manchester City is the one to set the bar in terms of having the deepest pockets (courtesy the deep oil wells adorning the Middle East Gulf landscape).

It’s really a study in contrast if you track the way leading clubs around the world go about spending every year in strengthening their squads and the payoff in terms of winning the league or Champions League for that matter.

Let’s take the case of few successful and not so sucessful clubs and their modi operandi. Due to personal reasons the clubs mainly discussed will be from EPL and the Spanish League.

Manchester United – Not much of a spender. Invest in players who are lesser heard of. Nobody heard of C Ronaldo when he made a move from Sporting CP to Manchester United. Have a good reserve team to select players from. If players become bigger than the club they are promptly shown the door or may find a football boot doing some serious damage to their face…depending on whichever is nearby (door or boot???)…but they have consistently performed over the years in EPL and in the Champions League.

Chelsea – The other end of the spectrum. No dearth of money to be splurged. But the trophy pipeline has virtually run dry. Coaches have been changed every other season but still the team has not managed to deliver the goods like they did under the tutelage of Jose Mourinho. (Personally I feel that Avram Grant was doing a swell job but seems that he wasn’t the man for the job according to RA). Drogba, Lampard, Ballack (not there now…lucky fella), Anelka etc. have all underachieved as a team which shows that 2 & 2 isn’t always 4 but 3 also…

Arsenal – A club with which you hardly associate (A) over the top spending or (B) buying players who have reached a marriageable age in India. In complete AWE of Arsene Wenger’s Expeditions every year where he focuses on buying players unknown players (to me) who can weave intricate circles around rival defences in the football pitch but unfortuntely lack the sucker punch (no wonder with all those circles drawn around the opponents their heads must be reeling in clockwise / anticlockwise directions which naturally affects their shooting radar). But for all the applause for their passing game…where is the goddamed trophy for chrissake!!! Recently I came upon a wonderful conspiracy theory on Arsene Wenger about his stubborness in not buying a high priced player…the moment he does so he has to deliver the results (read trophy). So, by sticking to his young guns maybe he is ensuring a longer run at Arsenal (Does he want to overtake Sir Alex Fergusson minus the trophies???)

Barcelona – Arsenal’s equivalent in Spain but the team to beat. The team core is made up of players who have stuck with the club for ages and it’s more or less the same core which brought Spain their World Cup glory. The only Galactico (imported) is Messi while the rest of the Galacticos have come from the Spain. Their growth havs been a story of how organic growth is anyday better than inorganic growth…week after week. Their dismantling of the Galacticos in round 1 of the “El Classico” for the 2010 – 11 season being a sparkling example.

Real Madrid – Spain’s answer to Chelsea where every year the Presidential election is won by the candidate who can bring the most talented fottballer on earth at the most earth shattering cost. So, you end up getting a galaxy of superstars but no trohies as teamwork is as functional as the CPM government in West Bengal. Gone are the days when individual brilliance will win you trophies. Last time it happened was in 1986. Mexico. And funnily enough they don’t know which players to retain and whom to let go? Remember Wesley Sneijder (left Real Madrid joined Inter Milan & In his first season at the Italian club, Sneijder won the European Treble, consisting of Serie A, Coppa Italia, and UEFA Champions League), Claude Makelele.

The story of Claude Makelele departure sums up my post. Makelele asked for a transfer request once the Real Madrid Management refused his request for an improved contract.

We will not miss Makélelé. His technique is average, he lacks the speed and skill to take the ball past opponents, and ninety percent of his distribution either goes backwards or sideways. He wasn’t a header of the ball and he rarely passed the ball more than three metres. Younger players will arrive who will cause Makélelé to be forgotten -Real Madrid Club President, Florentino Perez

Why put another layer of gold paint on the Bentley when you are losing the entire engine? – who else but Zizou

I think Claude has this kind of gift – he’s been the best player in the team for years but people just don’t notice him, don’t notice what he does. But you ask anyone at Real Madrid during the years we were talking about and they will tell you he was the best player at Real. We all knew, the players all knew he was the most important. The loss of Makélelé was the beginning of the end for Los Galacticos… You can see that it was also the beginning of a new dawn for Chelsea. He was the base, the key and I think he is the same to Chelsea now – ex Real Madrid player Fernando Hierro

Since Makélelé’s departure, Real Madrid have failed to progress past the quarter-finals of the Champions League.